I had some technical difficulties...this is my first post from January 2007
Hey ya'llI have never been one for blogs (although I love reading them)...but I realized that before I get to choking m-f'ers...I need an outlet. I might just be PMS'ing, but you ever get the feeling that you are just waaaaay better than most of the people around you? Not J-sus, son of G-d caliber of better, but that everyone around you is just ordinary and really trying to be great. Meanwhile, you are great, and trying to figure out how to drop that dead weight around you and finally make that transistion from ordinary to great.For those of you who understood what I mean, fantastic. For those of you who are confused, please walk over to the ordinary side of the room :o).I had a weekend from hell...It was one of those weekends, when I was busy, cold and tired for the entire time. And then it ended on one of those notes where I really had to take a walk, smoke a cig (bad, I know--I have officially quit!), phone a friend to avoid doing something that would send me right to jail. I mean, I was mad enough to kill this f^*^*%$% B*&^$....Long story short, she is one of those people that is pathetic ( a 35 y.o. struggling secretary/actress, who does not realize that she needs to give it up. I put secretary first, becasue she has had waaaay more work as a secretary than she will ever have as an actress.) and has to hate...whether she is right or wrong..she is a jealous, ugly hater and she said the wrong thing to me....and I walked away without caling her all the things that she and I know she really is.I feel like such a punk for not calling her out. But, I know how my mouth is and how horrible, I can be and this is why my instinct is to run. Not out of fear..but because I know my fight is lethal. But I should have given it to her..Then I got pissed at my friends for not jumping in...Not that I expect anyone to defend me when I am there and capable of defending myself..but I view it as not wanting to be associated with me or as a supporter of me. Maybe I am wrong and just over-analyzing the situation (did I mention I was PMS'ing), but I expect my friends to have my back at all times, as I do for them. I am realizing that not everyone operates the same way, which is fine BUT I am not going to do more for them than they do for me.. Plus this weekend made it clear to me, that I need friends who are better than me :o)So, going forward, I only got my back with these people. I am tired, so I will give you the entire situation at a later date. But who needs friends who are more detrimental to your sanity than your enemies?
